.Not a day less

Standard

From ever to ever leads to forever
Not a day less will do
We spend so much time being there for others
But I will not leave my forever alone
I have finally found my forever home…

From you, I have found that the uncertainties in my life
were only moments in time…
Like a handless clock with numbers,
time is found only in my mind
But forever seems to be so real when it’s with you

My forever exists only between us two
and even though forever is from ever to ever
Not a day less, from you, will do.

For me, you are the one
Truth in love is priceless
But true love always pays a price
Yet, nothing will keep me from loving you

You are the rest, the best and the untold stories of my life
With you I have less time and more forever
Within you I can finally rest.

True love is give and take
It is sacrifice
But there is nothing that can keep me from loving you
Not rain, storm, fire or ice
Within you I have found my forever…
Never again will I be alone
Because within you I have found my forever home.

 

Advertisements

.underneath

Standard

You ask me where I come from. What I’ve done. Where I’ve been. Who I am. 

I could write about my childhood…. growing up in a household with parents who don’t know what love is. With siblings that follow suit. I could tell you about the endless days and nights where I cried alone in a dark room hoping for an end to my own misery; learning the ins and and outs of lies and manipulation. My journey of raising my younger siblings alone and trying to educate them so they have a chance at a decent life…. or how my drive to be better than the life that was set up for me. I taught myself everything I know. I learned what love was by loving and nourishing others. That’s where I come from. 

Where did it lead me? Into the law binding marriage of an emotionally and physically abusive man. Into the home of another shade of ugly that disguised itself in religion and tortured me behind closed doors. I didn’t believe that I deserved better. Not after all I had been through before. 

The next rut was just as ugly with out the exterior bruises as proof. Manipulation and emotional abuse that ripped me to pieces….

You want to hear the struggle? About my endurance and drive? 

You want to know what makes me tick? How I managed my way through life and how the hell I’m probably the happiest person you know?

Well that’s just it… I’m happy. Because I choose to be. I had no reason to be for the first half of my life. I’ve changed my perspective and I’ve embraced life. I’ve walked away from the toxic waste that loomed over me for so long. I’ve built bridges out of trust and communication. I’ve formed relationships out of love. And I’ve learned to love myself. Scars and all. 

This is me. My past is just that. It is not who I am. Or who I have been. It just was. It was a chapter in a book that was burned. One I’ll never open again. One I’ll never revisit. One that lead me to emotional turmoil… and eventually to peace. 

Peace. Such a lovely thought. It seems impossible to some. But the secret to it is acceptance. Acceptance of the ugliness we have all carried at one point in our lives. It’s acceptance of failure but also acceptance of who we truly are. How beautiful we are. How magical we are. Peace is alive. It is an attainable blessing that comes from making a simple choice. 

That my friends, is who I am; I am Peace. Don’t ask me where I come from as if it reflects who I am today. I am who I am today because of who I choose to be each morning. And that is where I come from. I come from the beautiful acceptance of beauty and love each and every morning. And that too, is who you are. 

Namaste 

.the kind of day where words don’t suffice

Standard

Lost in my mind with a million thoughts surfacing… one after another. The maybes. The what ifs. The whys. The why nots. Memories of beauty. Of pure bliss. Memories of sadness and gut wrenching pain. They bring back emotions that seem to be reborn; even for just a moment or two, they become alive again. Some memories have faded and some disappear all together until they reinvent themselves in what seems to be a dejavu but is really just a lost memory that was buried to get through. 

It’s these kinds of days…. those kinds of days that my words can’t explain. My tears can’t wash away. And my heart can’t understand. 

It’s these kinds of days…. those kinds of days…. that drape my soul with the heaviness that I once carried morning and night. The cloth that once veiled my interpretation of life has come back to remind me of who I was and who I’ve been. Where I’ve been and what I’ve seen. 

Even though they still reside deep within me…  and surface every now and then. I don’t run from them anymore. I don’t hide. I just sit. I sit and let it say what it has to say. I let it convey whatever it needs to convey. I sit and I welcome it. I nurture it and embrace it.  And then I let it go. I release the pain and the sadness of memories that were never made. I release the loss of all I had hoped to have. 

Once the cloak is lifted, once I have rebalanced my inner self:  I open my eyes back to my reality…. back to the me I now know…. and I reflect. And I disect. And I push myself to move. Knowing…. understanding…. that I am love. And I will never face anything that my heart can’t withstand. That it will be okay. That I will be okay. That I am okay. 

It’s days like these…. days like those…. that the world around me doesn’t exist.

.invisible light

Standard

In the midst of an endless night

Was a sliver of invisible light

It grew as my faith in it did

And as much as I envisioned it enveloping me

It overflowed from within…

Before long the night had disappeared

And the invisible light shined so bright

That it escaped through my eyes

And into the world it poured out…

The night was gone unless I wanted it there

Always willing to come back and share it’s scare

But alas, my choice was light

And so I went on living in nothing but

A bright bold ray of love and might

image

.happy by choice

Standard

For a long while I have been aware that happiness is a state of mind. Your mind is something you can control – making happiness a conscious choice. Although our emotions can easily control our mind, our mind can also control our emotions.

It is hard to find peace within ourselves in the midst of our busy lives. I get lost so easily in the lists of tasks that I need to fill every ounce of my spare time with. There have been so many times where I have lost sight of who I am and what I need because I have titled myself with what I do. But…. I am not what I do; where I work, where I shop, or what I have accomplished. None of those things describe me, yet so often I title who I am with those things….

I have been on a spiritual journey for the last decade or so. I have been desperately trying to figure out who I am. What I need. And what brings me peace; It has humbled me, it has had me on my knees begging for guidance, it has thrown me in situations I didn’t know how to get out of, some of them I feared getting out of at all, and they caused me to question absolutely every truth I thought I knew. On the other end of that spectrum it has brought me courage, a thirst for knowledge, unity within myself and with others and an unconditional acceptance of myself and the rest of humanity as one. It has also taught me what love truly is.

Learning how to quiet my mind has been the biggest obstacle for me. But when I finally got it, I really got it. I can sit and zone out the world, I can listen to my soul and what the universe is saying to me as I breathe in my surroundings and breathe out the unrealistic expectations I have upon myself and reality. Understanding that the difference between reality and what I think reality should be has opened up an entire new world for me. The duality and cosmic balance that is always at battle within me gets turned off, or at least paused while I create an open space for my heart and soul to interact with my mind. No filters, no anxiety, no frustrations, no expectations, just quiet…. It has changed me. It has given me a place to go when the uncertainty of reality creeps in a little too strong. It gives me a place to go when I can’t answer questions about myself. I have an open book of answers to every question I have ever had and it is free and easily accessible whenever it is needed. All I have to do is take the time to read it.

As an artist I love to express my inner-self with words and visual art, but I now have this new obstacle I’m struggling with when it comes to this amazing new discovery within myself that I can’t seem express enough. I want to share it with others, but I haven’t found the right way. I can’t find the words to express the complete and purest form of happy that I have ever felt within myself. I can’t find the colors to paint that picture. But what I can express is that your heaven resides within yourself and it is a journey worth sacrificing time for.

I chose to be happy by taking action. I chose to shut out my insecurities and fears. And I have chosen to open my heart, mind and soul to knowledge I never knew existed. I can’t express the enormous amount of joy that it is bringing me. Choose to be happy, loves. Make it a conscious effort and find your path to peace. Close your eyes and listen to where your heart leads you. It is as simple as that.

Namaste
– Jane Fox

 

 

.responsibility

Standard

Blaming anyone or anything for the things that transpire in your life is a sure way to slow any kind of healing or growing both emotionally and spiritually.

BLAME gives you a reason to excuse yourself from the responsibility of the ups and downs of your life.
Not everything that has happened to you or around you is within your control but your reaction to it is. BLAME is not the answer. It takes up space in your heart and soul. Space that could and should be used to practice acceptance, understanding, empathy and most importantly forgiveness.

Peace comes when we let go of blame. When we let go of ego and pride. When we accept the past as part of our lives, not as who we are. This is how we heal.

Make room for peace by letting go of the negative. Forgive. Accept. Learn. Grow. And love.

image

.thankful

Standard

Taking time to stop and embrace the beauty of life is such a blessing.
To absorb the essence of life in every breath. To embrace the good and bad that comes and accept it all as it’s intended. Lessons, hurdles, fall backs, and joy. It all is so beautiful when you see the divine connection between you and the universe. No matter where you are or what you are going through, you are exactly where you need to be.
BE life. BE art. BE happiness. And share it with the world.

Today is a new day. Appreciate each moment of it and don’t let it slip away.

Here’s to all of the beautiful soul fighters in the world. Namaste!

image

*art work by Alex G. (My beautiful son)