.in my life… no one compares to you

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“There are places I’ll remember…

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain…

All these places have their moments…

With lovers and friends I still can recall.

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I’ve loved them all…

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new.”

These lyrics have always touched my heart. They ring true now more than ever. Love is a beautiful gift. I’ll never understand how the human heart works… but the love I have for myself and for my tribe, it’s all I need. And it keeps me going. It gives me a reason to open my eyes in the morning. It gives me a reason to inhale the world around me and absorb the enormous amounts of life and peace that fill my soul. I’m blessed. I’m happy. I’m grateful. For once. In my life, I now know why it all happened the way it did. I now see where I’m going. And I now can enjoy the ride. This love…. is something new. 

In my life…. I love you more ❤

This love is something new

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.the kind of day where words don’t suffice

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Lost in my mind with a million thoughts surfacing… one after another. The maybes. The what ifs. The whys. The why nots. Memories of beauty. Of pure bliss. Memories of sadness and gut wrenching pain. They bring back emotions that seem to be reborn; even for just a moment or two, they become alive again. Some memories have faded and some disappear all together until they reinvent themselves in what seems to be a dejavu but is really just a lost memory that was buried to get through. 

It’s these kinds of days…. those kinds of days that my words can’t explain. My tears can’t wash away. And my heart can’t understand. 

It’s these kinds of days…. those kinds of days…. that drape my soul with the heaviness that I once carried morning and night. The cloth that once veiled my interpretation of life has come back to remind me of who I was and who I’ve been. Where I’ve been and what I’ve seen. 

Even though they still reside deep within me…  and surface every now and then. I don’t run from them anymore. I don’t hide. I just sit. I sit and let it say what it has to say. I let it convey whatever it needs to convey. I sit and I welcome it. I nurture it and embrace it.  And then I let it go. I release the pain and the sadness of memories that were never made. I release the loss of all I had hoped to have. 

Once the cloak is lifted, once I have rebalanced my inner self:  I open my eyes back to my reality…. back to the me I now know…. and I reflect. And I disect. And I push myself to move. Knowing…. understanding…. that I am love. And I will never face anything that my heart can’t withstand. That it will be okay. That I will be okay. That I am okay. 

It’s days like these…. days like those…. that the world around me doesn’t exist.

.responsibility

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Blaming anyone or anything for the things that transpire in your life is a sure way to slow any kind of healing or growing both emotionally and spiritually.

BLAME gives you a reason to excuse yourself from the responsibility of the ups and downs of your life.
Not everything that has happened to you or around you is within your control but your reaction to it is. BLAME is not the answer. It takes up space in your heart and soul. Space that could and should be used to practice acceptance, understanding, empathy and most importantly forgiveness.

Peace comes when we let go of blame. When we let go of ego and pride. When we accept the past as part of our lives, not as who we are. This is how we heal.

Make room for peace by letting go of the negative. Forgive. Accept. Learn. Grow. And love.

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.thinking out loud

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As I sit and ponder… my world around me seems to disappear. Perhaps I live in my head the way I’m often accused. Perhaps my mind is determined to see beyond the mundane reality we call our own. Even though it is only mundane because we choose to overlook the magnitude of beauty hidden within the smallest of things that surround us.
I get frustrated with the daily routines… Working to live. Living to work… The endless cycle that society has instilled in us…
So I’m stuck in this cycle but my cycle is still my own. And I notice the small things and how they seem to grow.
Every smile from a stranger, every hug from a friend. Every snow flake that drifts more unique than the last…
The trees as they sway, the moon hidden behind the gray.

I sit and look around the room, I try to count all of the things that fascinate me and I lose track…. Its truly outstanding when you sit back and absorb. The laughs from the babies in the next room… The heat that warms me, the fire burning fiercely on it’s little wick as the wax drips down… My mere existence starts to bring a smile to my face. The air I breathe and how it raises my chest…
I don’t want to lose sight of that. I don’t want to take it all for granted. I don’t want to take all of the beautiful mysteries and accuse them of being mundane…. So what if I’m overworked, so what if I’m a little behind on bills, so what if I have to battle a blizzard to get to work, so what if I sleep alone…. When I’m on auto pilot I lose all of that… And I start to complain…
So here’s to the small things that make my heart smile. Here’s to the dreamers and drifters of the world. Absorb the beauty and find peace in it all.
Namaste!!

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