Love, I have found you. You are everything I thought you could never be. You are everything I never thought I would have. Love, dance with me. Live in color and grow like the beautiful flowers that surround us; against all odds I found you. All will be right, dancing like water with the light. You are all I ever dreamed you to be.
In the midst of an endless night
Was a sliver of invisible light
It grew as my faith in it did
And as much as I envisioned it enveloping me
It overflowed from within…
Before long the night had disappeared
And the invisible light shined so bright
That it escaped through my eyes
And into the world it poured out…
The night was gone unless I wanted it there
Always willing to come back and share it’s scare
But alas, my choice was light
And so I went on living in nothing but
A bright bold ray of love and might
I love you. I love me. I love us. I love we.
I have fallen in love with myself – therefore I am free to love you with no boundaries.
Can you say that you love yourself? Every inch of you? Every freckle, dimple, and hair? Do you love yourself beyond the temporary body you reside in? Do you realize just who you are? Not what you have become here, or who they say you are or ought to be… But who YOU are? Because you are me. And you are you. You are the blades of grass. You are the flakes of snow. You are the sun shining bright and the moon with its seducing glow. You are the very things and ones you love. You are divine. And I love you because I love me.
For a long while I have been aware that happiness is a state of mind. Your mind is something you can control – making happiness a conscious choice. Although our emotions can easily control our mind, our mind can also control our emotions.
It is hard to find peace within ourselves in the midst of our busy lives. I get lost so easily in the lists of tasks that I need to fill every ounce of my spare time with. There have been so many times where I have lost sight of who I am and what I need because I have titled myself with what I do. But…. I am not what I do; where I work, where I shop, or what I have accomplished. None of those things describe me, yet so often I title who I am with those things….
I have been on a spiritual journey for the last decade or so. I have been desperately trying to figure out who I am. What I need. And what brings me peace; It has humbled me, it has had me on my knees begging for guidance, it has thrown me in situations I didn’t know how to get out of, some of them I feared getting out of at all, and they caused me to question absolutely every truth I thought I knew. On the other end of that spectrum it has brought me courage, a thirst for knowledge, unity within myself and with others and an unconditional acceptance of myself and the rest of humanity as one. It has also taught me what love truly is.
Learning how to quiet my mind has been the biggest obstacle for me. But when I finally got it, I really got it. I can sit and zone out the world, I can listen to my soul and what the universe is saying to me as I breathe in my surroundings and breathe out the unrealistic expectations I have upon myself and reality. Understanding that the difference between reality and what I think reality should be has opened up an entire new world for me. The duality and cosmic balance that is always at battle within me gets turned off, or at least paused while I create an open space for my heart and soul to interact with my mind. No filters, no anxiety, no frustrations, no expectations, just quiet…. It has changed me. It has given me a place to go when the uncertainty of reality creeps in a little too strong. It gives me a place to go when I can’t answer questions about myself. I have an open book of answers to every question I have ever had and it is free and easily accessible whenever it is needed. All I have to do is take the time to read it.
As an artist I love to express my inner-self with words and visual art, but I now have this new obstacle I’m struggling with when it comes to this amazing new discovery within myself that I can’t seem express enough. I want to share it with others, but I haven’t found the right way. I can’t find the words to express the complete and purest form of happy that I have ever felt within myself. I can’t find the colors to paint that picture. But what I can express is that your heaven resides within yourself and it is a journey worth sacrificing time for.
I chose to be happy by taking action. I chose to shut out my insecurities and fears. And I have chosen to open my heart, mind and soul to knowledge I never knew existed. I can’t express the enormous amount of joy that it is bringing me. Choose to be happy, loves. Make it a conscious effort and find your path to peace. Close your eyes and listen to where your heart leads you. It is as simple as that.
– Jane Fox
Right when I thought I knew who I was…. Boom. I realize that just today I am different than yesterday.
Its crazy how quickly we can morph into something we never thought we would. Not necessarily because we are opposed to it, but because it was never something we thought of to begin with.
Growth and change are something we were born to do. To expand our knowledge and spirituality. Our oneness with everyone and everything. I believe we had knowledge and acceptance of it when we were children but society changes the way we think and for one reason or another we digress and have to start over as adults.
I find it fascinating and beautiful really. How every moment is a chance to start over. To wipe the slate clean. To experience new ways of thinking and accepting new truths as your own.
People often ask me what I believe in because that’s small talk nowadays I suppose…. And they usually don’t like my answer. My answer is always the same, though. I don’t know what I believe completely, because I learn more every day, but I do know what I don’t believe and that brings me peace. Most people don’t know how to respond to that because they are expecting me to answer the same way they do… With this cement answer stating that I know this certain truth and nothing can shake my faith. Truth is, I have that faith but it is a faith in the unknown. The acceptance in knowing that I know nothing compared to what’s really out there and that my goal is to learn all that I possibly can.
I know who I am not. I know exactly the kind of person I will never be. But I am open to change and expansion and growth on so many levels. Beyond my own person journey I also get to enjoy and benefit from watching the people I love experience the same thing.
I’ve thought that I knew people to a T….
And then the beautiful part comes in and they find a new path, an opportunity for change and growth and they begin to wander down the road of uncertainty with a heart full of hope and openness. Granted, there have been times when I didn’t want certain people to change, but their change encouraged my own. And regardless of my liking, it is part of who we are as humans. And so I remind myself of how important it is to be supportive and encouraging through those amazing transitions.
It is a blessing to be able to be there and to be part of it.
Bottom line is. Be aware of your growth. And the growth of the people surrounding you. Don’t hold back or fear the unknown. Its a beautiful, natural progression that is necessary for more reasons than we can understand.
As we welcome the new year we all have the desire to set new goals, new starts, and new beginnings… Some of us take the time to reflect on the last year and measure our success compared to the goals we set at this very time one year ago.
I love goals… I love short term goals that build to long term goals and I love achieving them more than anything else. I also hate disappointment, and I get frustrated when I can’t achieve a simple goal that I set in motion for myself. So, as it is with most things in life, it’s a love/hate relationship.
I have materialist goals, career goals, educational goals, relationship goals, but most importantly I have these goals that support emotional and spiritual growth. These goals, to me, are the most important. I set the standard high for myself mostly because I have been witness to the power of intention and faith. I have been blessed with certain souls that have come into my life at just the right times and that have shared their knowledge and personal experiences with me. One in particular that has been my spiritual muse and counselor.
Even if I haven’t met all the resolutions I wanted to meet this past year, I can confidently say that I am proud of who I have become and what I have evolved into. I’ve experienced a lot of ‘firsts’ and ‘lasts’ and I am grateful for each one. I have met and welcomed new people into my life and I have released certain people from the world I call my own, and I am blessed to have experienced all of it.
The point to this blog is to push you and myself, alike, to be the best persons that we can be. To strive for more on a continuous basis but also to be grateful of every moment and experience that comes your way. To leave a lasting impression on this world and to make our journey here one that is beautiful and filled with love, inspiration, light and power.
Take a few moments and reflect on who have become in the recent years, realize that everything you want in and out of life is within your grasp. Take a leap of faith, swallow your fear of failure, trust your instincts, and jump! Spread your wings and fly!
Be strong and prosper on!
~Jane Fox signing off for 2015
I had a personal achievement a few weeks back. One that I had been working on/through for months, if not years. I understood the feeling but I couldn’t grasp the concept nor put it to words….. Until last week that is… A dear friend of mine asked me to elaborate on the subject… So here goes.
My life, like most anyone’s life, has been full of ups and downs. Some of my downs have been a lot deeper than most, but I always found my way out and back up to where I needed to be. Surviving conflict though, whether within yourself or with someone else is not the same as finding peace within it, OR the same as healing… I don’t like to survive life… As one said before “We all die at one point anyway, so what’s the big deal about being a survivor?” Well, that question resonated with me. And I started looking for the answer. Because surviving isn’t peaceful, it isn’t happy, it isn’t inspirational and it isn’t a mindset to be grateful in either. You can’t grow from survival, you can’t learn from survival, you just survive. So once you have survived whatever it is that you have gone through you need to forgive. Ah, yes, forgive. Such an easy task, right? I’m sure you sense my sarcastic undertone… But in all seriousness, forgiveness is truly the key to personal growth and ultimately inner peace.
Chew on that for a minute……
Now, forgiving someone (including yourself) isn’t a one and done kind of thing. You can’t force it. You can’t fake it. And you definitely can’t go without it. The question now is how to forgive. And here is where my epiphany came to play.
You can’t bundle forgiveness.
You have to compartmentalize it. You have to choose forgiveness every day. Sometimes multiple times in one day. This goes for self forgiveness as well as for others. Allow yourself time and space to heal by accepting, understanding and letting go of the pain for individual hurts. Don’t bundle them up into one blanket of forgiveness. It doesn’t work that way. You’ll continue to fall back into the same dance over and over if you do. Take the time to address each hurt…. And learn to forgive them on their own
Does that resonate with you? It does with me. I realized I can’t just forgive someone for everything they did just because I want to let it all go. I have to go through the list and understand why I forgive each thing that happened or that transpired individually because they all had lasting effects that trickled their way into my NOW. Thus allowing me to let go of the pains that relate and are attached to those memories or hurts. It takes time, effort, patience and for me, a lot of tears…. But as I work my way through my forgiveness I feel an enormous amount of peace. I feel confident in my decision and confident in my emotion that now correlates to that memory/event of forgiveness.
When you see me smiling…. I am truly smiling, it is not a vail or a mask like it used to be. With patience, perseverance and a passionate desire for wellbeing and personal growth I have been able to over come what I never thought I would.