.this time

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The days where I feel a slight spunk in my step and a happy go lucky attitude slowly taking over my pessimistic demeanor seem to stand out amongst the others. Its the days where I wake up rested and choose to make anything that comes my way work for the better. Its the days that I reach out to friends I haven’t talked to in a while to remind them that I love them. Its the days where the lack of money in my billfold doesn’t affect my mood. Its the days where I laugh at silly jokes and find myself smiling at the fond memories that play like a never ending record in my mind. Its days like that that give me hope for more.
Days like that don’t come as often as I would like. But they do come.
I realize, though, that most of this mad journey we are on is about those in-betweens.  Most of my bad days come from thinking about all the other bad days piling up…. So, I’ve chosen to focus on the good and make each moment a conscious choice to accept peace on every level. To be confident in my peace and to believe that it is my reality.

I find myself in a constant battle of holding onto what I have had and to opening my grasp to what is yet to come. Whether good or bad, everything runs its course and whether or not we like it, most things come to an end. I’ve made it my goal to really respect and cherish both ends of that; the beginnings and the ends. It takes a strong will to choose to be happy in the midst of the happenings in this world. Gloom and despair surround us, but so does joy and optimism. I’ve learned that there is always more than one perspective. And that there is always hope for inner and outter peace.

I am painting my life with each thought, choice, and action I make. My current is just as important as my past and my future. Each day has its own issues, each will bring its own lesson. And each day I will have the choice to choose how I view it, how I live it and what I learn from it. Namaste

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.invisible light

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In the midst of an endless night

Was a sliver of invisible light

It grew as my faith in it did

And as much as I envisioned it enveloping me

It overflowed from within…

Before long the night had disappeared

And the invisible light shined so bright

That it escaped through my eyes

And into the world it poured out…

The night was gone unless I wanted it there

Always willing to come back and share it’s scare

But alas, my choice was light

And so I went on living in nothing but

A bright bold ray of love and might

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.I am

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I am a woman. I am a dreamer and a lover. I am a lot of things… Good and bad. But I am not what you think I am. Or who you think I am. Half the time I’m not even who I THINK that I am. But I am me….

Your perception of me…. What is it?
I know it’s different than the next person in line. I know it’s different than the people who came before you and different from the people who will come after you. So who’s definition of me is accurate?

I’ve been a lot of things to a lot of people. I’ve done a lot of things for a lot of people. And I’ve NOT done a lot of things for a lot people…. Am I what I have done for you or not done for you?

I’ve given my time, love and energy to people throughout the years… And I’ve also taken back my time, energy and love when it was misused or abused… Am I what I have given or taken from you?

I’ve seen myself through the eyes of the judgemental, shallow, unethical, and emotionally abusive people… Am I who they say I am? Am I who they see me to be?

I’ve seen myself through the eyes of people who look up to me and into me for inspiration and guidance. Am I who they say I am? Am I who they see me to be?

Am I all of those things wrapped into one person? Is that ME?

It can’t be…. That is not me. I am not them or their perception of me. I’m not their IDEA of me. I’m not their definition of me. Even though I’ve carried those titles… I’ve worn those hats. I’ve identified myself with them at times… But that is not me. I am not in this world to wear the uniform of whoever you need me to be in your life… And when your need is fulfilled the uniform gets stripped of me.

I am just me…. Who am I? I don’t know who I am all of the time because I’ve played dress up for so long… Sometimes the masks I wear leave an indentation on my identity.

I know what I love. I know who I love. I know what makes me happy. I know what makes me sad. I know what makes angry and excited…. But still, those things don’t define me…. I’m satisfied with the acceptance of knowing that I might not ever really know who I am… Because I am always changing with time, learned knowledge and circumstantial surroundings…. I know who I am not. And what I am not. And that’s enough for me…

Ask yourself…. Who are you? And who are you not?

.thankful

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Taking time to stop and embrace the beauty of life is such a blessing.
To absorb the essence of life in every breath. To embrace the good and bad that comes and accept it all as it’s intended. Lessons, hurdles, fall backs, and joy. It all is so beautiful when you see the divine connection between you and the universe. No matter where you are or what you are going through, you are exactly where you need to be.
BE life. BE art. BE happiness. And share it with the world.

Today is a new day. Appreciate each moment of it and don’t let it slip away.

Here’s to all of the beautiful soul fighters in the world. Namaste!

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*art work by Alex G. (My beautiful son)