motivation

.Project You

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You…. Wake up every day. Eyes open, chest rising and falling. The thoughts, plans, lists and responsibilities start running through your mind. Your body resists the urge to move, stretch, get out bed. The lights come on, your eyes squint, your breathing patterns get shorter and you start your day. No matter what you do today, you are doing it. The hours pass, the stress levels rise and fall. Emotions come in waves throughout the day. Laughter, joy, calmness, annoyance, hunger, numbness, anger, stress, enjoyment, pride, success, grief, pain, sleepiness. It all affects your mind, your plans, your body. Night falls, your body rests in its place. Your breathing deepens, your day, events, ups and downs, they run through your mind and you try to clear your thoughts. Lights off, phones down, your eyes shut and your thoughts get muted by your desire to rest, you and take a break only to wake up tomorrow to do the same thing.
What is this? What the hell are we doing? Auto pilot is a thing. And this ride called life that I have been a passenger on for 33 years is annoying. The fleeting moments of happiness that triumphed through the dark were moments that I still cling to because the majority of my life has been veiled in pain from these emotions that plague me. I had moments where I took the wheel as much as possible and made “big” changes in my so called daily life. That’s great and all, but where did it get me? To a new city, with a new job, new friends, new experiences, yay me, but still in this body – still breathing, moving, resting, feeling, living……. Without my consent. And I just have to deal with it. What the hell are we really doing here?

Is it a game? Is it for entertainment? Is it a test? We have all heard of dozens of theories, religious insights, beliefs, hopes, patters, scientific evolution to try to explain our significance, but just as I prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate and I think that we should all help our fellow humans no matter who they are or where we are in life, our ideas of why we are here and the direction of our moral compasses are just that, ideas…. Nothing more. They are and were created by the minds we can’t control or understand anyway. So, how do we accept these ideas as steadfast truths? Does anyone really believe any of it anyway? Isn’t everything relative? Or do they just hold onto the thought or belief of it as a form of solace and security to get through this strange stage of life as we know it?

Non conformance to the belief system our society holds firm to doesn’t make us unique or wiser than the average bear…. But I choose to keep my eyes open and my mind flexible to different concepts, ideas and visions of what life is all about. At the same time, as much as I would like to figure it all out – I would also like to enjoy it – while I am here – because I don’t really have a choice or a say in where I am going after this or what happen to me later today…. All I have is this moment, and this moment is mine, and I will embrace it as is and will enjoy it as much as humanly possible.

 

.this time

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The days where I feel a slight spunk in my step and a happy go lucky attitude slowly taking over my pessimistic demeanor seem to stand out amongst the others. Its the days where I wake up rested and choose to make anything that comes my way work for the better. Its the days that I reach out to friends I haven’t talked to in a while to remind them that I love them. Its the days where the lack of money in my billfold doesn’t affect my mood. Its the days where I laugh at silly jokes and find myself smiling at the fond memories that play like a never ending record in my mind. Its days like that that give me hope for more.
Days like that don’t come as often as I would like. But they do come.
I realize, though, that most of this mad journey we are on is about those in-betweens.  Most of my bad days come from thinking about all the other bad days piling up…. So, I’ve chosen to focus on the good and make each moment a conscious choice to accept peace on every level. To be confident in my peace and to believe that it is my reality.

I find myself in a constant battle of holding onto what I have had and to opening my grasp to what is yet to come. Whether good or bad, everything runs its course and whether or not we like it, most things come to an end. I’ve made it my goal to really respect and cherish both ends of that; the beginnings and the ends. It takes a strong will to choose to be happy in the midst of the happenings in this world. Gloom and despair surround us, but so does joy and optimism. I’ve learned that there is always more than one perspective. And that there is always hope for inner and outter peace.

I am painting my life with each thought, choice, and action I make. My current is just as important as my past and my future. Each day has its own issues, each will bring its own lesson. And each day I will have the choice to choose how I view it, how I live it and what I learn from it. Namaste

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.a truth about love

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Someone I love dearly rocked my perspective of love recently in how it is a mutual effort between two parties to maintain a healthy relationship; As they have to tend to the other party and continuously put the other first all while maintaining self love in order for it to succeed.
Although this is true and a mutual effort is indeed needed. The words that stopped my super-speed mind from racing were…

The relationship is a third party. It is a living, breathing thing. You have to nurture it just as you would a baby to make it thrive.

I had never looked at this way. It was always two people.
But now my mind has absorbed this vision of two souls nurturing their beautiful flame of love, their beautiful baby. And as much time and love and respect that you naturally give to your other half, so to shall you shower your “love baby” in order to see it grow.
Perhaps these words put a visual to the word love for me (I’m a visual learner) and this is why it stuck… But perhaps this beautiful mind that shared his words with me was spot on and deserves a platform to teach this unique way to approaching relationships.
Either way…. This might be the first love triangle I’m willing and eager to be part of!

“And so it was upon his chest that my soul found a home. His heart beating to the rhythm of mine… At last I’ve met the missing part of me” – Jane Fox ©

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