.I am

I am a woman. I am a dreamer and a lover. I am a lot of things… Good and bad. But I am not what you think I am. Or who you think I am. Half the time I’m not even who I THINK that I am. But I am me….

Your perception of me…. What is it?
I know it’s different than the next person in line. I know it’s different than the people who came before you and different from the people who will come after you. So who’s definition of me is accurate?

I’ve been a lot of things to a lot of people. I’ve done a lot of things for a lot of people. And I’ve NOT done a lot of things for a lot people…. Am I what I have done for you or not done for you?

I’ve given my time, love and energy to people throughout the years… And I’ve also taken back my time, energy and love when it was misused or abused… Am I what I have given or taken from you?

I’ve seen myself through the eyes of the judgemental, shallow, unethical, and emotionally abusive people… Am I who they say I am? Am I who they see me to be?

I’ve seen myself through the eyes of people who look up to me and into me for inspiration and guidance. Am I who they say I am? Am I who they see me to be?

Am I all of those things wrapped into one person? Is that ME?

It can’t be…. That is not me. I am not them or their perception of me. I’m not their IDEA of me. I’m not their definition of me. Even though I’ve carried those titles… I’ve worn those hats. I’ve identified myself with them at times… But that is not me. I am not in this world to wear the uniform of whoever you need me to be in your life… And when your need is fulfilled the uniform gets stripped of me.

I am just me…. Who am I? I don’t know who I am all of the time because I’ve played dress up for so long… Sometimes the masks I wear leave an indentation on my identity.

I know what I love. I know who I love. I know what makes me happy. I know what makes me sad. I know what makes angry and excited…. But still, those things don’t define me…. I’m satisfied with the acceptance of knowing that I might not ever really know who I am… Because I am always changing with time, learned knowledge and circumstantial surroundings…. I know who I am not. And what I am not. And that’s enough for me…

Ask yourself…. Who are you? And who are you not?