.his lips were made for me

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There he lay
With his head upon my lap
His chest rises and falls
His eyes are closed
His breath, the scent of honeydew
He mumbles in his sleep…
The love I feel, keeps me from looking away

Running my fingers across his brow
A tear comes to my eye
The man I love
Is the man right here…
The man I can’t deny

His soft lips lay parted
So perfect for a kiss
And as I gently do so
His smile becomes my bliss

Nothing makes me happier
Nothing seems to soothe
As when his heart shows its joy
Through the crack between his lips

This man that lays
With his head upon my lap
Is the man that holds my heart…
This man that lays
With his head upon my lap
Is the man I truly adore

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.a truth about love

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Someone I love dearly rocked my perspective of love recently in how it is a mutual effort between two parties to maintain a healthy relationship; As they have to tend to the other party and continuously put the other first all while maintaining self love in order for it to succeed.
Although this is true and a mutual effort is indeed needed. The words that stopped my super-speed mind from racing were…

The relationship is a third party. It is a living, breathing thing. You have to nurture it just as you would a baby to make it thrive.

I had never looked at this way. It was always two people.
But now my mind has absorbed this vision of two souls nurturing their beautiful flame of love, their beautiful baby. And as much time and love and respect that you naturally give to your other half, so to shall you shower your “love baby” in order to see it grow.
Perhaps these words put a visual to the word love for me (I’m a visual learner) and this is why it stuck… But perhaps this beautiful mind that shared his words with me was spot on and deserves a platform to teach this unique way to approaching relationships.
Either way…. This might be the first love triangle I’m willing and eager to be part of!

“And so it was upon his chest that my soul found a home. His heart beating to the rhythm of mine… At last I’ve met the missing part of me” – Jane Fox ©

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.knowing when to stop

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love is a drug that you can’t dabble in. it’s highly addictive. and often destructive to the creature who carries it.

As a highly sensitive person I’ve experienced great emotional connections that at the time were explosive inside creating a cosmic balance that seemed un-earthly. I’m a gentle soul and often quiet, also highly expressive, emotional and passionate, so there is often a tremendous spark, if not a bonfire, of attraction and energy between me and the one I love. It becomes an addiction that I can’t control despite the risk of losing myself to whom ever I love.

Highly sensitive people, I’ve noticed are natural nurtures with a strong, driving desire to foster others’ personal growth. We are the world’s counsellors, finding personal fulfilment in helping and encouraging other people. They can often sense another person’s deeper feelings, seeing through the façade that other people wear and directly to the emotions buried down deep. Knowing that these deep-rooted feelings and beliefs are painful, we want and tend to respond compassionately to try to help that person grow. It’s an added thrill to see the people we reach thrive because we’ve been able to touch and recognize a soul that might not have been if it weren’t for our empathy and drive.

I see nothing wrong in this, until you make it a perpetual routine. Because you lose focus on yourself. You create a cycle where it’s all you do and you lose who YOU are. I know I’ve lost who I am. And I’m the only one to blame.

It wasn’t until I realized that I need to find balance between tending to other’s and tending to myself that I started to pull back and work on myself and my desires to grow internally. It seems like a healthy choice, but when you have been one way for so long, the people around you fight the change. The people you love think it’s their fault and they get hurt. The man I love is a highly sensitive person, just as I am. Both wanting to help and build each other up, we thrive on seeing the other succeed in personal and spiritual growth…. We lost ourselves in those desires. We made mistakes, some unknowingly, and some intentionally… it took months of trying to heal the wounds – tending to each other’s needs in order to heal each other… but that was the problem in its self. We counted on each other to fix the other.

Clearly, it was not healthy. But tell that to my heart. She longs for more – for fifth and sixth chances at this highly passionate and explosive love. She fights on a daily basis with logic, past mistakes, and learned knowledge…. She self imploded on a daily basis. So then I ask myself, how can it hurt so badly? Why would doing something right be so devastating to us both? WHY did we ruin something so amazing?

The questions keep coming, the answers far from surfacing….
How do you know when enough is enough? How do you push yourself to let go? How do you know when its time to try again?
Love is a beautiful thing. But if it’s real enough, passionate enough, strong enough… It will consume you and cause you to question everything.

And it hurts.

.losing control

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My life, not so different from your own comes with happiness, sadness, love and loss… I’ve given and taken. I’ve forgiven and begged for forgiveness my self. But somehow I can’t seem to forget. The pain weighs heavy on my heart. A journey through love and anguish that never seems to end. My heart is usually worn on my sleeve and my emotions overwhelming the people they encompass. After handing my heart to the one I thought would protect it I was left alone with my heart in pieces on the ground…. It torments me and creates an undoubtedly gloomy cloud that hovers over my soul. How can I trust anyone when I’ve lost my best friend? How can I open my heart when it’s in so many pieces….

rather than bottle it up… I’ll write it down.

Sinking ship

The underside of the lightly scented air
Is heavy with gloom and despair
Creeping in on all who seek
Something better than what you would normally think
Ravaging through the journey unknown

Like a sea of rock, pebble and stone
Surrounded by others but always alone
Broken down children who were forced to be grown
A magnitude of facets lighting up the dark sky

Giving hope to all idiots who continue to try
To make sense of this life and the things that come with
The boat is sinking and we need to jump ship
Before we are pulled down to a bottomless pit

What will we have left when there is nothing left to give?
It’s time to make big choices in the ways that we love and live. – Jane Fox ©