.what I carry inside

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It’s 6 o’clock on a Sunday

And the rain comes pouring down

The memories of what was and is

Always seem to get me down

I look beyond for a brand new hope

But my mind plays tricks on me

And when I think I’ve got it all figured out

Reality kindly greets me

Once again I’m reminded of

The memories that don’t seem to fade

The smile I wear

Can’t hide it all

The truth is I carry pain…

I’m left alone with the world inside

So different from the one you see

Even though my life is different now

The aches are just part of me

The sky is grey

It doesn’t bother me…

It feeds the sadness inside

And tomorrow when the sky is blue

I’ll have a chance to start new…

Maybe then, the sun will bring me joy

And the smile you see will be true

But until then I can’t hide it at all

I’m just feeling blue

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.baggage

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Carrying a heavy load of baggage is tiresome and frustrating. You hurdle through every day hoping it will eventually go away. You try new things, you focus on something brighter, but in the back of your mind you still hear and feel that throbbing… The throbbing that the past so effortlessly reminds you of day after day. Little things trigger it and off your mind goes into a tangent that can easily ruin your progress.

So why do we hold on to the things that hurt us? Why do we let the mistakes of our past and the hurt others bestowed upon us cloud the life we have moved on to live?

Is it possible to truly let those things go? Is it possible to not be a product of your own experiences? I think it is… In a way.
The baggage that we carry can be lifted, it can be altered and manipulated into something beneficial. It’s nearly impossible to just forget and let go… But we can take the baggage and apply it as a lesson. We can bedazzle and decorate the hell out of it and make it into something that allows us to grow.

We are not what happens to us. We are not the mistakes we have made. But we are a people of events, mishaps, triumphs and victories. They are the obstacles that give us each our unique character. They are layers that rest upon our divine core.

Learn to let go. Learn to take the good out of whatever comes and apply that to your person. Leave the bad behind as a lesson learned. Walk away from the bullshit.
It does nothing for you. Today is a new day. Perhaps the only day you have left. You are a new person in every moment that passes. Embrace that. And don’t be the baggage you carry. Be the person you want to be.
On that note… This is me walking away 😉

.the thin line

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How can you hate someone you love so much?
Can that line be crossed?
I’ve always believed that hate is the absence of love, like darkness the absence of light…
So tell me, if the love you have for someone turns into hate does that mean you love them less than before?
You allowed hate to seep in and fill the empty spaces?
Or can we hate the one we love because we love them so much?

The heart is a scary thing that leads us to scary places. The mind tries to stop it by making it second guess. So the battle begins and the winner predicts the rest.
Do you follow your heart and risk it all even when you know that it won’t last?
To a place where pain is the ultimate ending…

Or do you listen to that little voice that tells you to keep your feet planted firmly and let that hate seep in? Does it mean you love less? Does it truly mean you hate?
Or is it just the way we learn to walk away? Needing someone to blame, convincing ourselves it wasn’t real.
That thin line between love and hate isn’t always straight. It comes and goes, it swivels and swirls, and it knocks you off your feet.
Make your choice, find peace with it, learn to jump rope or just let yourself give in. But either way your choices are yours. Make yourself vulnerable or build up your stony walls.
But when you do, do it with all you have and give it all of you.

helpless