.am i a paradox?

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I love everyone and everything yet nothing and no one. I love adventure and new challenges but I fear the unknown and I’m hesitant with change. I am focused yet scatter brained. I am predictable in my unpredictability….

I am devoted yet detached. I am tainted yet passionate. I love meeting and being around new people but I love being alone more. I trust no one yet somehow always get hurt for trusting someone in one way or another.

I am optimistic and light spirited but melancholy and negative. I believe in universal connections and beauty beyond recognition in the power and love between the gods and life as we know it, yet I often question the significance or truth behind any and all of it….

I’m happy and I’m sad. I’m ready and I’m not. I crave more, and nothing all at the same time. I seem to know the answers but can’t apply them to my life…. So where do I stand? Where do you stand? Who are we and are we defined by our fears and desires? Are we who we have been or who we will be? Or are we what we are at this very moment? Or are we just dust in the wind?

My favorite song from my childhood pushed me to question everything….

“I close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the moment’s gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind”

https://www.youtube.com/dustinthewind

Maybe we are just dust in the wind, living in this moment only to realize that the moment will only go as far as we want it to go. It will only be what we want it to be – but it takes energy, focus and a desire to make it so……. push forward is what I say to myself, take control and push forward. If we really are dust in the wind, then let us be magnificent pieces of dust that leaves a trail of love where ever it goes.

Namaste!

~Sincerely, a curious, scared, and eager spec of dust

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.inside

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A broken down me
Was what it took
To find who I had become
And as the pieces slowly reconciled
Who I chose to be
Became my true identity

It wasn’t until I had fallen apart
And my knees were on the ground
That I saw inside
And wasn’t happy with I found…

So mending back together
The best pieces left of me
And leaving aside the atrocities
… A complicated task
But one that will set me free

A whirlwind of light, of first times and new beginnings…
A chance to push aside my fears
A chance to wipe away the tears…

The person I once called me
Is someone who I choose not to be
The person I now call me
Will take a challenge and embrace it
The person I now call me
Has what it takes to make it

Each moment a beautiful new sign
For what is ahead in time…
The me I am is one I love
The me I am is one I respect
The me I am is ready to connect
With the person inside who was there all along. -Jane Fox ©

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