.bonds

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As humans we strive for bonds, for personal relationships. It’s in our nature to want to be part of a tribe or community. And as a result of the constant crave for a connection with someone, even from a distance, we run into heartache. Not just from failed attempts at love… But from failed attempts at trust. Trust in your fellow neighbor. In your fellow human….

To love and lose, in my opinion, is truly greater than to never have loved at all, as the saying goes… Because you have experienced what our hearts truly crave, even if it was only for a short period of time… But what about the consistent lack of decency when it comes to friendships? Or the bond between family members?
Since when did using a person to better your lack of self esteem and then trashing them when you don’t need whatever they offered you become normal?
I understand walking away from people in your life who no longer have purpose for your mission in this world or who no longer add something positive… What I’m getting at is using and abusing someone at your disposal and not just walking away but tarnishing their trust and security in even themselves.
Just because.
I’m at lack of words when it comes to this… I know most of you will say it is only normal for a narcissist… Or along those lines, but honestly, I see this behavior in so many types of people and it just baffles me….
Is it a lack of love all together? A lack of self love perhaps? I’m open for feedback here…. So tell me, why is it that people use, abuse and trample the people who have bend over backwards for them?

2 thoughts on “.bonds

  1. Oooo this is a sticky situation. I have met a lot of people like this as well. Some worse than others. I don’t know WHY or HOW people can be so hateful. But the truth I found is that they aren’t really hateful, they simply don’t care about you. They don’t have compassion For another person or thing of it is not benefiting them, which is what I think is one of the main characteristics of a narcissist. I don’t believe people have to be a narcissist to treat people poorly though. I think like you said, it’s a lack of love for themselves and others. And probably lack of faith in anything bigger than them. Either way, I’ve read that the best way to help a narcissist is to get them out of your life. They prey on people who care. Its the only option because they won’t ever change.

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  2. I’ve read the same advise… There is truly no hope to change anyone for that matter. Change is internal. It has to come from them and all one can do is show love and support, encouragment and inspiration for change. However if being there for someone who refuses to change for the better is causing a negative vibe in your life whether it be emotional, spiritual or physical you have to walk away. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. And you most certainly are the only person responsible for yourself, so why hurt yourself when you could save yourself by cutting ties? Just walk away…. It doesn’t answer the question of why or how someone can be cruel in that way… But it is good advice for anyone dealing with such a person (s).

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